Hilariously Bad Credit Card & Bank Account Sign Up Bonuses

We’re used to covering the best credit card & bank account sign up bonuses, but every now and then you see some offers so bad that all they do is make you laugh. I was bored, so compiled some of the worst ones I’ve seen below (let me know of any additional ones in the comments below).

Credit Cards

free tarp home depot

  • JAL USA Credit Card offering a free stuffed toy, what makes it even worse is that it was limited to only to the first 100 approved applicants.

JAL_Mileage_Bank - stuff animal

  • Walmart offering a free pumpkin when you apply for one of their cards

free pumpkin

  • Walmart offering 2L of Soda when applying for one of their credit cards via Doctor of Credit

soda-signup-bonus

  • Walmart stepping up their game and offering 2L soda/candy & $25 gift card via Doctor of Credit

walmart credit card

  • Walmart not even offering a guarantee bonus this time, but a chance to win instead via Voyaging Doc

CaDrg17WEAEOmb1

  • Scheels offering two pieces of fudge ($6 value!!) for an application via Doctor of Credit

scheels fudge

free led bulb

Bank Bonuses

  • Cathay Bank offering a lucky monkey via Steve

lucky monkey

  • First American National Bank offering a credit card lightbulb or self stick and only need to keep a massive $5,500 deposited for twelve months, what a deal! via Steve

first american international bank

  • Community Bank offering a 50″ x 70″ Escalade® Super Soft plush fleece textured for winter warmth and extra comfort via dacorgi

blanket bonus

TAF

  • SDCCU offering a free taco & tote via Allie355

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30 Comments
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asup
asup (@guest_1692558)
September 13, 2023 11:31

This thread needs is fun and needs to come back.

Jeff H
Jeff H (@guest_394356)
April 23, 2017 13:02

This makes some banks that we yawn at this year look generous. $10.00 for a new kid’s checking or savings account. $25.00 for a new senior checking account.

Adam D
Adam D (@guest_354179)
February 15, 2017 23:02

First checking account bonus was a crock-pot from TCF Bank (awful bank, but they never reported my deliquent account to chexsystems) First CC bonus was a free t-shirt from Chase for a united explorer card from the taste of Chicago, we’ve all come a long way.

Jim
Jim (@guest_279213)
July 28, 2016 08:40

When I was 18, I signed up for my first credit card while I was at an airport- a US Airways card. I got a free blanket. It was the same one they gave out on the plane.

Carlos Rivas
Carlos Rivas (@guest_238341)
March 28, 2016 12:17

Free magnetic flashlight!

Katye
Katye (@guest_223676)
February 8, 2016 17:03

I remember when I was in elementary school in Hong Kong (~20 years ago), our math teacher warned when we grow up, do not fall for credit card company’s tactics of using “non-stick pans” (or other kitchenware) to lure us into getting credit cards. He said sincerely “I know it’s very tempting… BUT please cut up your credit card as soon as you get them” (at the time, offers did not have minimum spend, so as soon as you get approved you get your gift.)

Katye
Katye (@guest_223677)
February 8, 2016 17:05

I am pretty sure my great teacher had been churning for non-stick pans.

Steve
Steve (@guest_223481)
February 7, 2016 19:42

https://www.valleynationalbank.com/personal/promo.aspx?ref=nyps3

Valley National Bank
$20 and a Soccer Ball

Martin Artenstein
Martin Artenstein (@guest_221656)
February 1, 2016 19:13

I was in a department store in southern India that had a “limited time” signup offer for a store membership card….2kg of sugar

Ed
Ed (@guest_221564)
February 1, 2016 14:30

There was an era where these small freebies could be earned by filling out a paper form (with bogus information). That made them not so bad.

Master Allan
Master Allan (@guest_303324)
October 4, 2016 12:34
  Ed

In 1997 I use to work for Target as a cashier and we were hounding by management to get Target card credit applications. The perk was instant 10% off your purchase just for applying with a detachable coupon on the app. Just thrilled to have an application or two at the end of our shift us cashiers couldn’t care less if you would be approved later or info was bogus. Indeed some people constantly applied with no chance of approval or with bad info and months later this 10% real deal was demoted to a pathetic “$3 off coupon”.

sybloc
sybloc (@guest_221412)
January 31, 2016 23:17

That Sirotan is ridiculously cute. It would be funny if, in 5 years or so, it’s worth $xxxx.xx

You’ll be kicking yourself for not getting it.

I’m tempted…